Derick's mom, Gina
...in the tight grasp of grief, I grieve every day the loss of my son. My forever 8 year old amazing little boy. He had the most expressive deep brown (almost black) eyes that you have ever seen and beautiful long eyelashes that curled perfectly. When he smiled, he smiled not only with his face but with his heart, his whole being. And without knowing people around him were just drawn to him. His first grade teacher, Ms. Katz best described him as “a magnet." They weren’t drawn to him because they felt sorry for him for being bald or that he had cancer. He had always had this effect on people of any age since he was 3. It makes me smile to remember that he loved all kinds of people no matter their age, sex, color, weight, height or whatever outward difference that was presented. He loved…he really loved. OK, the exception would be drooling, snotty, or whining kids and babies. Egh, I don’t blame him for that one. Anyhow, I wish could dig deep enough to explain how this was such a beautiful thing. It’s not that my memory escapes me (we all know that my memory is worse than ever). I remember well enough to never let him be far from my thoughts. My son, Derick Wayne Palmer, a part of my heart and soul forever.
Today, almost 17 months after he passed on to live in heaven, my tears fall for what he never got the chance to do as a kid (ding-dong-ditch, riding bikes all day long, water slide parks every summer, playing all the sports his heart desired, making fun of his sisters and embarrassing them in front of their friends/boyfriend. My tears fall for the things he will never get to do as a teen or young adult (TP a house, first job, school dances, getting your drivers licenses, cruising with his buddies, going on dates (with girls his mama approves of course), life away at college and yes even sneaking a few beers. My tears fall for the things he didn’t get to experience as a grown man. He was already the biggest flirt so I do believe the daddy’s out there would need to lock up their daughters, LOL! I wanted him to have a full life of love and to have all that he needed to live a good long life. It just hurts. It will never stop hurting and I don’t want it to.
Though my arms are empty now, I will carry my son in my broken heart forever. -Derick’s rambling mama 8/14/16
Getting kisses (with lipstick) from his beautiful teachers at school in celebration of completing 54 weeks of cancer treatment.